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Showing posts from March, 2015

Fifteen Years

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This time of year is always difficult for me.Difficult.It’s a ridiculous word to describe it really.
Difficult?
This time of year is always painful for me.Over the years, the pain quotient has varied – some years more, some years less.But always, always, the pain is there.
It’s this time of year when the dreams come back strong and I get even less sleep than normal.
It’s at this time of year that the memories are strongest; memories that the rest of the year I can push in to the recesses of my mind.Things that most of the time I’d rather be able to forget.I know that’s not only an unrealistic way of dealing with something, it’s not a fair way.It’s just an easy way out of a hard situation, which is hardly a mature way of dealing with anything.
But that’s the thing, when those memories are strongest and the pain makes its reappearance, I don’t feel very mature.I feel like that 16-year old girl again who made the right choices, and okay, made some mistakes too, and still managed to lose.
Is d…